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30 October 2011 @ 04:17 pm
2nd Mini-Hiatus Exchange Fic for Flyblckbirdfky (It was all due to a mix-up!)  
Title: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2613
Recipient: flyblckbirdfly
Warnings: Brief mention of spoilers for 3.05
Summary: Blaine wants to make a romantic gesture for Kurt. Cue Fail!Blaine at his best.
Prompt(s) Used: Blaine sneaks in Kurt's window in the middle of the night (take this however you'd like)
Notes: This is nothing like you asked for, but the moment I saw the prompt, it stuck in my head. I actually have an angsty idea for the prompt you left, which you might still get, but this just had to happen!... Special thanks to whenidance and ccmskatechick for their beta help!!

The absolute most romantic thing anyone has ever done for Blaine is the day Kurt shows up with a bouquet of red and yellow roses for him at school. It completely catches him off guard, not only because the auditions for West Side Story had been an unexpected bone of contention between them, but also because… well, Blaine hadn’t been expecting Kurt to react like that. With flowers. Roses. Indicating love and friendship and celebrating him.

Blaine had warned Kurt early on that he isn’t good with these kinds of things, and he isn’t, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t spend the next few days racking his brain for something to do for Kurt. Something romantic. Something to get his mind off of West Side Story, and the rather disappointing role he’d been given. (Officer Krupke? Really? Who in the world got a glimpse of the talent his boyfriend has and give him the role of Office Krupke? Honestly, it’s almost enough for Blaine to leave a nasty anon comment in Artie’s Tumblr Ask, except that the only people following Artie on Tumblr all in glee club, and Kurt actually never really remembers to get on Tumblr, and Artie’s smart enough to figure out who would be upset on Kurt’s behalf, so the whole anon thing is kind of pointless by the time Blaine reasons it all out.)

So the only thing left for Blaine to do is something to put a smile on Kurt’s face; something to thank him for the beautiful roses and make him see that Blaine doesn’t care if he’s playing the role of Officer Krupke, Tony or a street lamp, Blaine thinks he’s amazing no matter what. Still, the desire to do it, and the ability to come up with just what to do are two different things, and it’s not until during rehearsal Friday afternoon that Blaine comes up with an idea. A perfect idea for something proven to be romantic!

Saturday, unfortunately, is out for his big, romantic gesture. Fall looks as if it’s finally hitting Ohio, and Blaine’s mother needs his help preparing the yard for winter. So he’s stuck mowing the lawn, raking leaves and helping his father stack a new load of firewood near the back door. Blaine figures his plan would be far too dangerous to do in the dark—though ultimately even more romantic—so he pushes it off until Sunday, and instead spends Saturday night at the movies with Kurt, Rachel and Finn. They’ve only seen Lion King in 3D three times, and Rachel insists they see it at least once more before it goes away.

Once Sunday arrives, Blaine is fairly vibrating with anticipation. He’s absolutely certain Kurt will appreciate his plan for the romantic gesture it is, and getting through Sunday breakfast with his parents, and then having to help clean the kitchen and pick up his own room before he’s allowed to leave the house is the most interminably slow morning Blaine has ever had to suffer in his young life. By the time he’s snatching a perfect red rose from the vase in the front room and making his way out to his car, Blaine is fairly certain it has to be Monday, and late morning on Sunday.

He sends a quick text to Kurt before pulling out of the driveway:

To: Kurt Hummel
From: Blaine Anderson

I’m on my way over. Open your window.

At the first stop sign, Blaine picks up his phone to check the message from Kurt.

To: Blaine Anderson
From: Kurt Hummel

I was about to say that was the most bizarre text I’ve ever received. And then I remembered who sent it. :P

To: Kurt Hummel
From: Blaine Anderson

Ha freaking ha.

By the time he pulls up in front of the Hummel house, Blaine is feeling pretty confident about his plan. Katy Perry’s Last Friday Night is blasting on the radio—and wow, he and the Warblers could have done an amazing version of that song—and the weather is just about perfect with the sun shining up above and a light breeze making it just cool enough for long sleeves. Grabbing the rose from where it lay on the passenger seat, Blaine climbs out of his car and makes his way across the lawn to the awning of the front porch, located just beneath Kurt’s bedroom window. The window is open, just like Blaine instructed, and he can see the curtains billowing slightly into the room from the breeze.

“Kurt?” He calls out.

It’s impossible not to smile as his boyfriend appears in the window, glancing down at him and smiling. “Dare I even ask why you haven’t rung the doorbell?”

“It’s a surprise,” Blaine replies with a responding smile, gaze dropping a moment to exam the porch. If he were to climb on to the railing, and then boost himself on to the roof, he could make his way up to Kurt’s window from there. He just has to carefully make his way through Carole’s azalea bushes lining the front of the porch.

“Blaine, honey… what are you doing?”

“Hang on,” Blaine calls out as he scoots his way between the porch and the bushes, wincing as twigs stab him in the back. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right up.”

“Oh god, Blaine, you’re not—“ Kurt breaks off as Blaine clamors up the front of the railing, grabbing hold of the beam on the far end to pull himself up to stand on the ledge of the rail. “Blaine Ewan Anderson,” Kurt exclaims as Blaine’s head pops over the edge of the roof. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

“That’s not the optimal end to my plan, no,” Blaine replies, frowning as he realizes he has nowhere to put the rose in his hand while he pulls himself up onto the overhang. He had planned to recite poetry to Kurt while climbing, but that isn’t necessarily panning out. Huffing slightly over the fact that maybe he hadn’t planned this all as carefully as he’d thought he had, Blaine begins, “If thou must love me, let it be for nought except for love's sake only.”

Kurt snorts from the window above him. “Seriously, Blaine?”

“Do not say—I’m trying to be romantic. Now hush—“I love her for her smile--her look--her way of speaking gently,--for a trick of thought that falls in well with mine, and certes brought a sense of pleasant ease on such a day".” With nowhere else to put it, Blaine clamps the rose between his teeth before grabbing hold of the edge of the roof, taking a few deep breaths and springing up off of the porch railing to haul himself upwards. He swings his legs on to the roof and breathes a sigh of relief between his teeth.

“It looks more to me like you’re trying to kill yourself,” Kurt remarks, a note of terror in his voice.

Blaine gingerly gets to his hands and knees and turns, testing the strength of the shingles beneath him before looking up at Kurt, who’s staring through the screen at him wide-eyed. He continues with the rose still clenched in his teeth, “For zese sings in zemthelves, Bewoved, may be thanzded, or zthange for thee,--and thofe, so frought, may be unfrought tho. Neifer lofe me for thine own dear pify's fwiping my freeks dry, -“

“Browning, Blaine? Seriously?” Kurt asks as Blaine continues crawling up the roof toward him, gravity playing hell on his balance. He continually feels the need to topple over backward, which would ruin the entire plan, to be perfectly honest, and it doesn’t matter that he can already hear the undertone of amusement in his boyfriend’s voice, he has almost reached the window, and therefore, succeeded in his goal.

Once close enough to the window, Blaine balances on his knees carefully as he reaches up to pull the rose from his mouth so that he can finish his sonnet. They’ve only both just realized the screen is still attached, so he can’t climb in to Kurt’s bedroom just yet, so he chooses to continue reciting his poetry while Kurt starts fiddling with the latches on the screen.

“A creature might forget to weep, who bore thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!” He says with a smile, beaming at Kurt who pauses in his attempt to remove the screen to do little more than raise an eyebrow at him.

“Maybe you should have told me to take the screen off when you told me to open the window,” Kurt mutters as he yanks at the last latch.

Blaine shrugs, not considering it important as he continues, “But love me for love's sake, that evermore thou may'st love on, through love's eterni---ahhhhh!!!”

The scream comes unexpectedly, an impulsive reaction to the feel of the screen slamming outward into his face and knocking him off-balance. Blaine barely glimpses the panicked visage of Kurt as he tries to reach out to grab him before he topples over backward, rolling three times down the ledge of the roof, and then falling—

Right into the azalea bushes.

“Blaine!” Kurt calls out in a panic from above. “Are you all right? Oh my god! I didn’t kill you, did I? I’ll be right down!”

“No!” Blaine replies quickly as he spits out a leaf from his mouth. “I’m all right. Your stepmom’s flowers broke my fall. Just… I’ll be right up.”

“Okay, now you’re just being stubborn,” Kurt tells him, leaning out the window as Blaine extricates himself from the bushes, barely glancing at the tiny scrapes and cuts along his hands and wrists from the twigs. He grabs hold of the porch beam and pulls himself upright on the railing once more, peering over the roof ledge at Kurt.

Kurt’s glaring at him.

“I’m okay. See?” Blaine smiles brightly before realizing he’s lost the rose. He glances around, looking down a few feet below where it’s laying beneath the bushes. “Oh. Damn, I dropped your rose.”

“And tried to break your neck in the process. Get off the fricken porch, Blaine. I’m coming to open the door—“

“No!” Blaine shakes his head, looking back up at Kurt. “I’m following through with this romantic gesture if it kills me.”

“It will!” Kurt exclaims, waving his arms out toward Blaine before sighing loudly and dropping his chin onto his hand. “Very well. Get up here so we can figure out what to tell Carole about her azaleas.”

Pleased that Kurt is willing to let him continue, Blaine grabs hold of the ledge once more, hauling himself upward onto the roof. It’s a little easier without having to deal with the rose, and he crawls his way back up to the window. Kurt steps back to give him room, and Blaine places his hands on the windowsill, ducking his head in carefully beneath the open window, once more preparing to recite the last line of the sonnet.

“But love me for love's sake, that evermore thou may'st love on---,” he says as his right foot gets caught on a loose shingle and he falls through the window, landing face first on the floor, and sprawled rather ridiculously against the wall beneath the opening.

“Oh, god, Blaine, are you okay?” Kurt’s worried face appears above him, looking down, and there’s a trace of barely suppressed amusement glimmering in his gaze.

Blaine is about to reply that he’s fine when Kurt is joined by Finn, and then Burt.

“Ever hear of the front door, kid?” Burt asks, raising an eyebrow as he continues to stare down at Blaine.

Beside him, Kurt covers his mouth quickly with his hand.

“Dude, did you fall off the roof?” Finn steps carefully around Blaine to peer out the window. “Whoa, did you fall into my mom’s flowers? She just said the other day how they were finally coming back to life or something.”

“Oh, god, sorry!” Blaine tries to push away from the wall as Kurt kneels down beside him and helps him sit up. He has to hand it to his boyfriend—he’s doing an excellent job of not bursting into laughter as he reaches out and begins plucking tiny twigs and leaves from Blaine’s hair.

“You planning on performing this feat often, Blaine?” Burt crosses his arms over his chest as he looks down at him.

Blaine can do little more than shake his head in reply. “N-no, sir. Probably never again.”

Burt nods. “Glad to hear it.”

“Yes, one foolish attempt on your life is quite enough,” Kurt says as a bubble of laughter briefly escapes before he quickly tamps it down.

“I wish I’d been here to see the fall.” Finn is still leaning out the window when Kurt turns slightly to smack him in the back of his knee.

“Don’t be so mean. Go get the First Aid kit. Blaine has some cuts on his hands.”

Blaine is trying not to pout, he really is, but how badly his plan had gone awry is nothing compared to having Kurt’s dad and stepbrother seeing his failure on top of it. “I was trying to be romantic,” Blaine mumbles as Kurt giggles softly, cupping his face and leaning in to press a brief kiss to his lips.

“Next time, try sending flowers,” Burt tells him, not even bothering to suppress a chuckle.

“Dad.” Kurt casts him a quick look that has Burt holding up his hands, smiling as he backs away.

“Okay, okay. I’m just going to go down and see if I can salvage the azaleas before Carole gets home. Let me know if we need to take Romeo there to the hospital or something.”

Once the room is empty other than the two of them, Blaine leans his face into Kurt’s shoulder, groaning softly. “I am so embarrassed.”

“There, there.” Kurt pats his back and Blaine makes a face because he feels bruises that he hadn’t realized are there. “If it helps, it was all rather romantic—right up until the part where I clipped you with the screen and watched in helpless certainty that I had just killed my boyfriend. That kind of thing results in years of therapy, you know. I’d never totally get over it. Every future home I lived in would have to be sans window screens.”

Blaine buries his face more deeply into Kurt’s shoulder. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Yes. Yes, I am.” Kurt places a kiss against his head. “But only because I love you. And you’re attempt at being romantic was ridiculously sweet, if not also terrifying because it almost resulted in your death.” Catching Blaine’s chin with his fingers, Kurt pulls his head up to catch his gaze and smile at him. “Next time, listen to my dad, and think FTD floral, okay?”

Blaine can say little more in response to that than laugh as Kurt kisses him.

rena_librarianrena_librarian on October 30th, 2011 10:37 pm (UTC)
AHHH I love faily!Blaine! This was so cute! =)
sugakane_01sugakane_01 on October 30th, 2011 10:49 pm (UTC)
Fail!Blaine FTW!!

I lol'd so much reading this! The first time he fell I was all "aww, poor Blaine." The second time I just lost it and giggled like a crazy lady. Say it with flowers, Blaine. Say it with flowers.
A little Birdie told me...flyblckbirdfly on October 30th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
MissGoalie: blainersmissgoalie75 on October 31st, 2011 12:39 am (UTC)
FAIL!BLAINE IS THE BEST. I will always appreciate a great fic that features Fail!Blaine at his finest <3
judearayajudearaya on October 31st, 2011 12:53 am (UTC)
legit was laughing out loud. This was great!
Christinehanako on October 31st, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)
omg this was wayy adorable :)
fara1903fara1903 on October 31st, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
Oh god! Blainers luckily he was not hurt!
a_glass_paradea_glass_parade on October 31st, 2011 04:11 am (UTC)
OMG the delicious hilarious failure!
Kat: Glee - Klaine approvalshades_of_glay on October 31st, 2011 07:50 am (UTC)
So adorable and cute and hilarious! I loved it! <3
missnikki93ladyofthejungle on October 31st, 2011 01:55 pm (UTC)
Haha! I love Fail!Blaine. And I could imagine this. Sometimes he tries a little too hard when it comes to romance.
netfcwhimsicalnet on October 31st, 2011 07:27 pm (UTC)
hahahahahahahahaha... oh man.. I have tears in my eyes... loved this. TQ.
chocolate6969chocolate6969 on October 31st, 2011 11:53 pm (UTC)
pizzaboatpizzaboat on November 1st, 2011 01:25 am (UTC)
oh my gosh, it's so fluffy I could die! blainers should stick to flowers.
Morgan D.: Glee Finn/Kurtmorgan_d on November 1st, 2011 03:07 am (UTC)
Poor Blaine. I just feel so sorry for him.
mulder1921mulder1921 on November 1st, 2011 04:42 am (UTC)
This was beyond funny. I can totally see Blaine wearing a bow tie and sweater vest while doing this. I need this to be cannon!
Laura ☂: glee:  let's go to the mall!starryeyedmagic on November 1st, 2011 08:30 pm (UTC)
haha oh Blaine. This was hilariously adorable.
sin_fuegosin_fuego on November 10th, 2011 03:02 am (UTC)
I'm glad Blaine's flaily actions didn't result in serious injury. Now I don't have to feel bad laughing at him along with Kurt, Burt, & Finn.